An Ode to the Home That Held Me

Walking out of my house for the last time was hard. It’s always been hard, but this time was harder. This home was my shelter during one of the hardest and most transformative periods of my life. It gave me so much. It gave me a new lens, and also new opportunities.

While I lived there, I cultivated my love for interior design through a fairly major renovation and an evolution in style.

I adopted a second dog (my chow chow-boxer-rottweiler-lab Huck).

I taught myself to use a charcoal grill and made so many fun memories grilling for those I love. (My dad insisted I get a charcoal rather than a gas grill. I’m not mad about it.)

As I battled HOAs (yes, plural…) during the sale, it taught me patience and trust.

I chose to start writing professionally.

I learned I really don’t need a lot of space.

I learned just how independent I can be. Even when I was in a relationship during the time I lived there, I handled every major house issue I faced alone. A (twice) flooded basement, a broken AC, a major plumbing repair. Granted, for most of these, I called a repairman, but regardless, taking care of a house solo can be mentally and emotionally draining–even a 900 square foot house.

I discovered van life. Yes, in the near future, I will be traveling the country in a converted home on wheels. Of course I will be writing more about this.

This home gave birth to the next part of my life. It was truly my shelter and sanctuary, like no other place has been. I’ve always been sensitive to my surroundings–both people and places–so to lose that has shaken me quite a bit. I’m learning now just how hard radical change is, even when you’re fully invested in it–even when, more than ever, you feel like you’re on the right path.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been full of so many different emotions. Above all, I’ve never been so grateful for the life lessons that brought me here and for the sale of that beloved home which (at least partially) set me up to take the leap into both a career and total life transition.

So what’s next? A whole lot of uncertainty. I’m currently renting a good friend’s basement for the next few months while my van is built. I’ve always craved order, but I’ve also always challenged myself. I’ve always taken the more difficult path, which has always been rewarding. Now I’m embracing the opportunity to grow from this uncertainty. On the road, uncertainty will be a daily reality, but there’s so much to learn from that.

I know I’m not alone in this change. The world is taking a collective deep breath we didn’t know we could take. There’s thunder in the air as we drop our self-imposed shackles, and then a hum as we find our wings and take flight. Who knows where we’ll land. It’s terrifyingly wonderful.

What change did the last two years bring into your life? What did you learn from it?