Adjusting to Van Life Realities, Part 2
What is it about routines? They bring comfort and structure to our lives. My life has had very little of that lately. I never realized how reliant I was on routines. I love for life to be calm and I do everything I can to avoid chaos, but what I’ve realized since making so many changes recently—selling my house, resigning from my 12-year federal career, moving in temporarily with a friend, buying a van to be converted into a home on wheels, starting a new career—is that, strangely, less makes me frazzled lately. My world may be in an uproar, but somehow I’ve found an inner sense of calm I’ve never had before.
When I was in my routine, the slightest inconveniences rattled me. Why? I think I found too much comfort in routine—so much so that I felt set adrift without it. It may seem slightly contradictory since freedom is what I’ve craved, but in the last several months, I’ve become more and more aware of how deeply certain things were ingrained into me (routines, closed-minded beliefs). I’m not here to say routines are bad, but what I’ve realized is that they shouldn’t be forever. If they are stunting your growth or aren’t leading you to the life you want, it’s time to make a change.
I originally intended to stay in Northern Virginia until my van was complete and then make a slow trek down to Arkansas (where one of my sisters is) and Texas to see family over the holidays (and Texas seems like a good place to spend at least a part of the winter in the van), but with delay after delay, I started to go stir crazy. I’d established a new routine, but I felt stuck. I didn’t make all of these drastic changes to sit still and wait for life to happen. I already had a trip planned to Boone at the end of September to check on the van, and I decided to go straight from there to visit family until my van is completed in (hopefully) mid-November. So, I did one final purge, said some tearful goodbyes to friends, and packed up all of my belongings and my dogs in my RAV4.
I only spent a couple of nights in Boone, but I managed to squeeze in the Three Top Mountain hike in the Amphibolite Mountains in northwest North Carolina. It had been a long time since the dogs and I had hiked, and it was a beautiful reminder of the “why” behind all of my decisions lately. We had the hike to ourselves until the hike down when we passed one couple. We spent at least 45 minutes at the summit, taking in 360 degree views. There’s nothing like the reward of stunning views after a grueling hike; it wasn’t the hardest I’ve done, but it was one of the steepest. Surprisingly, my favorite part was a small waterfall near the beginning of the hike. There was something dreamlike about it.
The next day, I popped into the Stand Up Vans shop to check on my van. It had only been there a couple of weeks and it took us some time to finalize the layout so not a ton had changed, but there’s something reassuring about being able to talk about such a big project/investment in person. The back of the van had been stripped of any unnecessary parts such as the floor (since insulation will go underneath the new floor) and the aluminum wall between the cab and what will be the “living space.” The layout had been taped to the floor and it gave me confidence in my decision to be able to walk around the space and see how everything would fit. Since I’ve dropped it off, we’ve also finalized cabinet color and layout, new all-terrain tires and wheels, a ladder/spare tire carrier combo for the back door, and finishes such as faucets, sink, stove, fridge, countertop, wall sconces/reading lights that will go over the bed, and fabric choices for the cushions and trim.
From there, I made the sixteen hour drive to Arkansas where I’ve been spending time with my sister and her family for the last two and a half weeks. After almost two years without seeing family thanks to the pandemic and work, it’s just what my soul needed. She lives in a beautiful home in the foothills of the Ouachita Mountains. She was sweet enough to set up a desk for me by a window with a stunning view of the pines. From here, I feel like I’m in a treehouse. I’ve never been able to spend so much time with her (and family in general since leaving for college), and after years of living by myself and relying on myself, it’s such a needed change of pace. It’s been beautiful to write during the day, cook and have long talks with my sister in the evenings, and also spend time with my nieces and get to know the strong women they’ve become. My sister and brother-in-law have such a loving, closely-knit blended family; I’ve never been able to spend much time here in the past, so I’ve enjoyed getting to know the whole family better as well as their small town. Everyone has been so welcoming. I forgot how much I miss small towns!
Next week, I’ll head to Texas to spend some time with my parents before I come back to Arkansas before the van is done. I’m trying to balance all of this travel with getting my copywriting career off the ground (which is something I’ll need to learn to juggle when I get the van anyway). Thankfully, since I’ve been in Arkansas, it’s really been growing. That has been a journey all on its own, but I’m finding my niche in the travel/vacation rental industry. It allows for a lot of creativity and storytelling which is exactly what I’ve been looking for.
I’m trying to ensure I don’t get too settled into a routine before the van is done. I’m learning to place value in rituals over routines. Rituals are meant to fuel our soul, honor ourselves, and encourage growth. Try not to let yourself get caught in the current. I’m an avid believer there is so much beauty to be found in the depths, but let yourself break the surface from time to time, look around, and see if you’re really heading in the direction you want to be. When you break out of your routine (or life forces you out of your routine), at first it’s rattling, but then it becomes easier to see the beauty in the everyday. Inconveniences are just a part of the journey, nudging you where you’re meant to be. As one of my captains in the Marines once said, “Learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.” He wasn’t exactly talking about the same thing, but I think it still applies.
Are you someone who thrives more in chaos or in routine? In what other ways can we challenge our routines to help us see the world differently and find more beauty in life?
